What an odd little place! Huacachina sits five kilometers outside Ica, Ica being one of the more substantial cities in Peru. Huacachina, on the other hand and despite being only 5km five kilometers outside Ica, seems like it’s in the middle of nowhere. It sits in small pocket, huddled in between masses of giant sand dunes. Huacahinca is like every image we have of a small oasis set in the idle of some Arabian desert, except this oasis is filled with young Western travelers looking for a good time.Its reputation precedes it in numerous ways. If you ever want the unrated version containing all the details about this place, corner me at a party after I’ve had a couple of drinks and I’ll tell you all about it. In my own defense, I had about as much interest in indulging in most of these activities as I do in eating beets. And in case you don’t know this about me, I do not like beets.
Huacahina is a tiny town and thus offers only a few key pleasures.
1) Party all night, every night;
2) Hook up with some stranger or strangers;
3) Walk around the tree-lined lagoon or sit at your hostel pool while eating ice cream and enjoying the hot dry sun;
4) Take a wine or pisco tasting tour (the Ica region is the only wine region in Peru); and
5) Ride massive diesel-powered dune buggies that take you to enormous dunes you can sandboard down.
I had zero interest in numbers 1 and 2 so I took advantage of numbers 3, 4, and 5. Of the three days I was in Huacahina, I spent the first two of them resting and trying my best to get over the terrible cold and ear infection that left me without hearing in my left ear. So I chilled by the pool, read my book, walked around the lagoon, and went to bed early. To be honest, I would’ve simply left Huacachina on my second day if it weren’t for a cotton farmers’ strike, which left all roads into and out of Lima blocked. I guess that’s a pretty ingenious way to conduct a strike – simply block all roads to the most important city in the country. That really makes everybody sweat. The funny thing is, though, that the strikers take the weekends off, not just the cotton farmers as in this case, but any strikers in Peru during any strike. That part of the strikers’ strategy? Maybe not so ingenious. So in this particular case, and at worst case, the roads would be open starting Saturday for a couple of days.
Since I couldn’t leave Lima until Saturday, I stayed on a third day (a Friday) and spent it doing what there was left to be done in Huacachina. Wine tasting and sandboarding.
Sometime just after breakfast, my left ear popped. I could hear out of it again! Progress is good.
The wine tasting was one of the weirdest and most unpleasant wine tasting experiences I’ve ever had. My “tour” consisted of this…
I was picked up by a rotund and jolly guy in a busted up vehicle that looked and sounded like it was being held together with one very crucial bolt and that bolt was just about rust through and snap like a brittle little twig. The shocks were shot, the body of the car rusted, the seats springs jammed me in the back. The driver, who I was promised spoke English, had an English vocabulary that consisted of about 25 words, most of which related to drinking or alcoholic beverages of various sorts – and here I’m not talking about describing the characteristics of wine, I’m talking about how much he enjoys partying. Once I climbed into the death trap car and we started off, he introduced me to his girlfriend, a similarly rotund young woman with unwashed hair and a shy smile. Explanation here: the driver’s girlfriend was his mistress – not his partner, not his wife. How I knew this doesn’t matter. Let’s just say that it didn’t take any kind of powerful logic to deduce it.
We rattled toward Ica, the car shaking and shuddering and the driver weaving through traffic, stop signs, and lights. More explanation: this is how people drive in Peru. Lights, people, other cars, lines on the road, stop signs – it’s all just a whisper of a suggestion that everyone completely ignores. It’s a absolute and total, let’s-play-chicken, white-knuckle free-for-all.
So we’re shuddering through traffic, stopping every few minutes so that the driver can run his errands: getting the daily paper, stopping to put one liter of gas in his tank, etc. Once we finally get rolling, the landscape that unfolds in front of me is ghastly. Once off the highway, the roads are dusty, throat-choking affairs lined with four foot tall mountains of garbage on either side, like some kind of smelly, decaying, makeshift fence. Rotting diapers, empty blue plastic bleach bottles, and other sundry unmentionables painted a gruesomely colorful patina that surrounds fields where I wondered if wine grapes were grown. I would be disgusted – and frankly I was – but what struck me the most is that people lived here and this is how they deposited their garbage, hazmat and all. I felt very sad that these were conditions that people had to live in.
After a brain jarring ride through this unhappy countryside, we arrived at Tecama, one of the most well-known wineries of Peru. It was like a faded, ramshackle shell. The once bright pink paint of the tasting area and visitors’ center was washed out and lifeless looking. The grounds are filled with plants that seemed to barely hang on to life, drooping or just simply dead and brown. Dry dust devils whipped through the grounds, parching your throat.
The tour of the “facilities” was strange. I saw one thing that looked new and clean and properly functioning and those were two large stills where pisco is brewed. Two gigantic bright copper tanks with various copper tubing spiraling out of them sit pristinely in one corner of the production warehouse. In the next area, opposite these stills was a concrete wine aging tank. Its small doors were open, revealing themselves to be filthy and rusted on the inside. The harsh sound of a workman jackhammering and intermittent clouds of concrete dust filled the place. This was about as far away from a Napa or Sonoma tasting experience as I’ve ever had, hands down.
The tour culminated back in the tasting area. I was handed a tiny plastic cup that looked like it had been used and washed, used and washed at least twenty or thirty times. In my tiny plastic cup I was poured some of the most absolutely awful swill I’ve ever had the displeasure of tasting. It was truly and completely terrible.
Back in the car… the shuddering, creaking, barely holding together car. Back through the fences of garbage. Back onto the highway. Another head jarring 25 minutes to what was reputed to be an “artisanal” pisco producer. On the way, we rolled through a favela, a slum area. Mountains of garbage everywhere. Half built, abandoned brick structures, as if someone started building, then just ran out of money and stopped – which, in all likelihood, is exactly what happened. No stores. No plumbing that I could see. I don’t know how else to describe the details of this place, but I know how I felt as we traveled through it. Immensely depressed. It was like the gravity of sadness here was so strong that no light or joy could exist in it. I took picture after picture of it, thinking that each scene I was capturing was bad, and then the next scene would seem worse and more without happiness or hope. Piles of desolation everywhere.
Eventually, we made it back to a paved road and to this “artisanal” pisco producer. This particular place reminded me of those bars that you see in old Clint Eastwood Westerns. When I think of “artisanal” I do not think of this place. I tried three or four tastes of their pisco, each leaving a burning trail of fire down my gullet. The driver/guide had some tastes, too, which frighteningly made his ability to laugh uproariously and liberally much more pronounced on the drive back to Huacachina. He regaled me of stories in rough Spanglish of fun times drinking in the past and famous drinking holidays in Peru.
Umm… good fun.
As it was, because he ran his errands at the beginning of the “tour” we had no time to visit the third winery that was supposed to be part of the tour. I was kind of pissed for just one second, then realized that I was going to be spared more brain addling chauffer-ing and more gut wrenching wine.
Back at Huacachina, the guide good-humoredly reminded me to tip him. You have to be kidding, right? Enh. I tipped him anyway. Whatever. He obviously needs that five soles more than I did. I mean, he has a wife, three children, a dog, a cat and a mistress to support.
I got back from the “wine tour” at 3:30pm, rested for a half hour, and then hauled myself into one of the two monster diesel dune buggies that was going to take me and another 15 tourists into the sand dunes for some sandboarding. I jumped into the seat right next to the driver so I could get the full frontal experience of tearing through the dunes at full speed. I strapped myself in with the four-point, over-the-shoulder seatbelt. As the driver took us around the block to the entrance to the dunes, the engine noise and noxious fumes were tremendous. And then, too late, I realized that this was probably not so good for the environment around here. With no time to consider my carbon footprint, we were off!
It was like a punk-rock-xtreme-sports-Mr.-Toad’s-Wild-Ride, like a Disneyland roller coaster gone wrong, like a serious back injury waiting to happen! I know that as a responsible citizen of planet earth and a “just recently former” Green Party member, I shouldn’t like this. But I did! The dunes were enormous and the heavy, powerful diesel engine shot us up them and plummet us down them, took us on steep banks and slip-sliding turns. It was a total blast and crazy thrilling! This was not some American roller coaster ride that was inspected and given a safety stamp of approval. This was not some experience where there were warnings posted on all sides sp no one slapped a lawsuit on them. This was petrifying and fun and real! We were all screaming in terror and exhilaration as we took the corners and peaked the top of a massive dune only to see an almost sheer drop off on the other side that we’d rocket down at full speed!
We finally stopped at the pinnacle of a large dune, unbuckled, and tumbled out of the sand monsters. Wild-eyed and wind-blown, our driver handed each of us our sandboards, which he then waxed so we could go top speed down the dunes.
The first brave soul lay down on her sandbaord at the crest of the dune and the driver gave her a hard push… Waaaahhhheeeeeee!!! She sped like a bullet, yelling like a banshee all the way, and drifted to a stop at the curved bottom. It looked like a complete and total blast!
I climbed on my board and he gave me a shove. The wind whipped by my face, the sand was like glass, and it seemed like I was going way, way too fast. I screamed from the total rush of it and all of a sudden, it was over. Again! Again! Again! I humped it up the dune to have another go, which was a challenge. It was like walking up quicksand. Each step up sent a mini avalanche of sand that took me back downward. One step up, three-quarter steps down, one step up, one step down, etc. I humped it all the way back up, though, and down I went again!
After about 15 minutes, we all bundled back up into the sand monsters and were off on another punk rock wild ride – swinging in and out of dunes, going impossible high impossibly fast, kickin up dust like a 500 pound hillbilly at a hoedown. Woooohoooooo!
We stopped again at the top of another monumental dune, this one steeper and longer than that last. On our boards, we each plummeted down the thing like bats out of hell. Wicked, just wicked.
Then, onward, back into the sand monster… the sun was making its way to the horizon line and out here, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, we hit a dune crest and stopped again. The landscape was incredible. From the town of Huacachina, you see several very high dunes that surround the town. But once you surmount these and get out here, they go on and on and on, out of site. The rolling dunes show graceful curves, shades of light and shadow, smooth, speckled, and waved texture.
I sat quietly on the warm dune in the sand like fine sugar, watching the fire of the sun be swallowed by the night and dunes far away. The moon had risen over us, white and lucid. I just drank it all in, this serene beauty… just let my spirit drift in the sands, as time, like a thief, stole gently, silently, and ceaselessly forward.
Too soon, we had to bundle back up in the sand monster and head to our final run. Fast, long, and thrilling, and then back on again and the final drive back to Huacachina.
Back in town, I heard that the cotton farmers’ strike was over and all roads to Lima were open.
Tomorrow, I catch the bus to Lima for my final four days in this three-month journey in South America.